Let’s Get Real

“Change is inevitable…growth is optional.” – John C. Maxwell

I’m great with change…when it’s on my terms and I’ve prepared myself for it. However, we aren’t always given that luxury. Just when you’re comfortable and happy with where you are in life, woosh, curveball! Or maybe one thing goes wrong and then everything else follows. Either way, we all endure it, but it’s how you react and allow it to affect you is what matters.

I’m currently going through a rough patch myself with several changes that I wasn’t ready for. After one life-altering change, some light was shed on other areas of my life that I realized weren’t healthy for me, so I suited up and speared those head on. Now, I may have been ready to address them, but what I wasn’t ready for was the outcome I got. And I’d be lying if I said I didn’t let it get to me because, truth is, I’ve been on an emotional roller coaster for the past few weeks.

And what makes situations like these worse? Stress. I stress a lot. I even stress over being stressed! It’s a never-ending battle for me, often turning into pretty bad anxiety (which I’ve also had a lot of lately). While I’m still feeling it, something clicked the other day. It was like something in my body shut down but a light went off in my head. ‘What am I doing?’ I asked myself. And the answer was nothing. I was doing nothing to help myself let go and move on. I was so upset and hurt by the circumstances that I was allowing it to consume and take over every aspect of my life. So right then and there, I decided no more. Rather than dwelling and wallowing over past events, it was time to get back out there. Am I fully healed? Not even close, but I’m working towards it.

Here are some things that I’ve been doing that have been super helpful in easing my stress and anxiety:

  • Smile right when you wake up: A smile spurs a chemical reaction that (even if you are sad) tricks your brain into happiness.
  • Bible-Study: Upon waking up, I do the 5-minute Bible Study for Women before I do anything else. It starts with a passage, explains it, applies it to modern day, and ends with a short prayer. You can also write after it too. I use those to jot down things I’m grateful for or things that are weighing heavy on my heart that I need guidance with.
  • Exercise: I’ve been following Melissa Wood’s workouts every morning and I always feel so strong and ready to take on the day after it! But if I’m really having a day where I need to get out of my head, I’ll go for a run or take to boxing to punch it out!
  • Breathe: I practice breathing techniques when I’m feeling overwhelmed as it is, but I also focus on it during workouts, as it’s practiced in yoga.
  • Spend time with family and friends: My family lives over 2000 miles away, so I can’t be with them IRL, but I talk to them on the phone daily and Facetime a couple times a week. It also helps that my almost 3-year-old nephew is as adorable and playful as he is! But I do have friends here in LA, so I’ve been going out and visiting with them. And I’m glad I did because now I’ve made new friends as well!
  • Volunteer: I’m super passionate about animals, so I go to the shelters to walk dogs or just love on them!
  • Rest: I’m the type of person that likes to have everything planned out and be active, but in tough times, it’s good to take a step back to rest…not just physically, but mentally and emotionally. I’ve been sleeping more or taking cat naps and it’s made a world of difference.

Something else that I’m actually doing this upcoming week is I’m taking a little getaway! It’s only for two days, but I’m super excited because typically I’d just retreat to the beach or something. However, this time around, I’m driving to the mountains and will be off the grid! I’m taking some time to truly reflect on where I am in life and where I want to be. Will keep you posted on how that goes!

One thing I’d like to note is that while I do experience anxiety and stress often and have my methods to help cope and move through it, I am not a certified therapist. If you’re feeling really out of control, I urge you to seek out a professional. There is no shame in doing so, and sometimes it takes a trained expert to help.

Bottom Line…if you’re reading this and are going through a difficult time in your life, know it will pass. It sounds corny and it’s easier to say than believe, but God (or whoever/whatever you believe in) has something better planned. The sooner you accept that things need to or are changing, the better. So take a deep breath, release it all that bad energy, and get goin!

Until next time…stay golden!

xo, Goldielegs

Self-entine’s Day!

Self-entine’s Day…yep, you heard me right. Valentine’s Day isn’t just for couples or gal pals, but it can also be a day to show yourself a little love!

A few years ago, I promised myself I wouldn’t be one of those people that calls today ‘single’s awareness day’. It makes it sound so sad!!! And to be honest, I actually love Valentine’s Day regardless of my relationship status! I can be on a date with my man, out on the town with the ladies, or home doing something for myself…and regardless of which, I’m going to show my love to whomever!

This year will be a bit of a mashup of Galentine’s and Self-entine’s for me, as I’ll be hanging with a friend for a bit, but I fully intend to indulge in treating myself. If you don’t have any plans, and aren’t sure of what to do for/with yourself, here are a few ideas!

  1. Hit the Spa – I love this one, because, honestly, who doesn’t like to be pampered? Several hotels and spas have deals going on, so you can book a full day spa to enjoy a massage, facial, hot tub, etc. It really is incredible!
  2. Bring the Spa to You – If you’re strapped for cash, or simply want some quiet time at home, do as I do! Run a nice hot bath with some bubbles or a bath fizzie, line it with candles, turn on some music, and enjoy! Highly recommend throwing in a face mask and wine too!
  3. Shopping Spree – That’s right, take yourself to a store (or do it online if you desire) and buy that one thing you’ve been saving up for! It doesn’t have to be a ‘need’ either…if you see something you ‘want’ and can no longer live with out it, purchase that baby!
  4. Dinner for 1 – Take yourself to dinner! You don’t HAVE to have a date to go to a restaurant, you know. Despite the stigma about it, there’s much less pressure to entertain and everything, so you can truly pay attention and savor every bite from your meal.
  5. Discount Deals – I highly recommend checking out Groupon and any other site with discounted rates on events. They often discount it even more on holidays too! So pick out a show you’ve been wanting to see, take a pottery class, start a foreign language, etc. Find something that interests you and go for it! Best case scenario, you may meet someone with similar interests there too! TWO BIRDS, people!!!
  6. Volunteer – I would totally be doing this is it wasn’t for work going so late! There are plenty of animal shelters or homeless people who could really use a little special attention today. One animal shelter I love to go to is Animal Hope & Wellness in Sherman Oaks. All of the rescues there have been saved from the dog meat trade in Asia. They, especially, need all the love they can get! If you want to take meals or clothes or anything to the homeless, Skid Row is a great place to go too.
  7. Work It Out – Another thing…holiday’s are NOT always about the food! Sure, delicious treats are made, but so many people forget the importance of exercising. Tons of classes host Valentine’s Day special and/or fun, themed classes!
  8. Write a Letter – Write or type something nice to yourself. Go from the heart! Talk about things you love about yourself, the things you do well, goals/dreams/accomplishments. Stash it away and take it out when you most need it.
  9. See a Show – Go to a movie, comedy show, musical/play, etc. If you’re not the type that often goes out solo, this is the perfect option because theatre’s are dark, but it’s still a way to liven up your night!
  10. Photoshoot – This one may be a bit tougher, as I know not everyone has access to cameras and all. But lingerie is NOT only for men, ladies. In fact, I think it’s more for us than them because when we feel good, we look good. And lets be real, the right lingerie makes us feel reeeeaaaaally good, ha! Seeing how amazing you look and feel is an automatic confidence booster 🙂

No matter how you are spending this Valentine’s Day, do a little something for yourself! If you have any other suggestions too, I’d love to hear them!

Until next time…stay golden!

xx, Goldielegs